School was a bummer today. I just couldn’t get anything right. We had to read out loud and my brain and eyes and tongue just couldn’t get it right. I kept goofing up and Kyle and the guys were laughing at me. Ms. Baskette was firing the “shut up” looks at them over her dweeby glasses but they just kept right up. At recess they staged “Penny Theatre.” They stammered and stuttered and made me look really stupid. I yelled at them to stop which just gave them more to make fun of.
I hate it that all the words get mixed up and I just can’t get them out.
I hate my stupid brain that can’t make the words lie down and hold still.
No one else seems to have that problem. Everybody else’s words just stick to the page and behave. Same books. I even traded books with my friend Lisa last year when we were in the same class. Same thing – the letters and words behaved for her but the just jumbled up for me. It’s not fair. Everybody thinks I’m nuts or something because I made the mistake of asking why the letters did that. Nobody else’s words turn around and dance.
At lunch I just took my tray and sat by myself. Tuna casserole. Ick. I flicked the tuna out and ate the crunchy top. Ada, the chef, knows I hate tuna – but she also knows I like the crunchy stuff on top. She makes sure I have lots of crunchy stuff. The school is trying to make lunches better so they hired this really great lady – a real chef. Ada comes out and talks to all of us about what we like and don’t like. She kind of makes it so that what we say matters. Which is cool. She winked at me when she put extra crunchy stuff on my tray. It’s good that she knows I matter. I scooped up the tuna and put it back in with the crunchy stuff. Maybe it’s okay to have icky stuff if I matter and I’m important.
In art we started to plan our book. We’re making a real book that will be in the library and everything! Ms. Baskette, Ms. Edwards – the art teacher, and Mr. Mitchel – the media specialist all worked with the class to come up with a story. We’re each going to write and illustrate a chapter! I have so many fantastic ideas. Even Kyle liked some of them. Ms. Baskette suggested that I be the idea keeper and the entire class agreed. I get to keep all the ideas and remind the class of them at each meeting. It’s important that I get all the ideas down; they come really fast because we are really creative, so Ms. Baskette said that I would need to create my own special way to record it all. I can write or draw or whatever is needed. It’s really important and I can do it even with my stupid brain.
And maybe I don’t really hate my stupid brain.
And maybe my brain isn’t so stupid after all.
Maybe it’s just different.
And maybe different isn’t such a bummer.
Maybe.
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